just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if only i could text you this smell
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
