I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
