she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
