Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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