Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
