remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
