Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
