you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel great
I just peed on a car
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
