Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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