did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
