It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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