Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize