There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize