i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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