Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I stole a fireplace last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
