I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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