ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
