I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
