goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
