when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
