1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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