I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
