So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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