Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
