She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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