I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
