she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize