you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think my moral compass just broke
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
