I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
