haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
