no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well you can't waste a boner
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
