You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We're too hungover to prance.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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