She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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