Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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