yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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