Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
