Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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