awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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