living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
