So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
