READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
