GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
