i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
