i permit you to call me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
