before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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