How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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