theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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