omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
