I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
