Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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