she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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