redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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