What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
