Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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