Apparently you make a good broom.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize