You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
