jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
