I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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