I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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