She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize