Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My vagina just recognized that song.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
