My friends, they love my intelligence
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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