Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize