Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
false alarm. still invincible.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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