come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
