Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
